Hello, Ms. Archana.
– Hello, Chandu. How are you?
– I am good. What about you? I am fine.
– I see. Don’t you know about her?
– Yes. Things aren’t
working out between us. That has always been the case.
– I’ve thought of an idea. Tell me. – I am thinking
of casting a spell to make her fall for me.
– What! Do you know wizardry?
– No.. I am sure you do. How else could
you have ended up on that chair! That’s right. – My life will be
set if I marry her. But what about her life?
– My life will be awesome. Wow! He is like
a dog with two tails. Sapna, I am in
a good mood today. I am going to marry Bhuri.
– I see. I will remove every
obstacle in the way. Why does it sound like Archana
Puran Singh is in danger? I am sure Mr. Sidhu
has paid him! – Yes. I am dead sure..
– Thrash him! I wasn’t referring
to Archana Puran Singh! Really?
– Really? – Yes. – Thank God. My horoscope is inauspicious
and the priest has advised me to marry a tree
before marrying her. But the tree should be willing
to marry you, right? Let me tell you something.
– Okay. Don’t mess with trees for
they have plenty of branches. Really?
– Yes. – Wow. So, I have
brought the tree with me. What?
– Look. If you marry this tree, you will
be arrested on charges of child marriage.
Do you get me! Listen to me.
– Lovely! Marry this tree.
It’s similar to you. It also stays out. The gloomy time
will be over soon. I-I mean the auspicious time
will be over soon. Hurry up. All right. Chant the mantras.
– I will do it. I’ll make the circumambulations.
– Hurry up. Stop your nonsense. Scratch.
Turn the light off. Go to sleep. A woman standing on perch is
ringing a bell. It’s all right. Milk is curd. Rich have fun.
Problematic life. Lot of mouths to feed.
No matter what I do no matter where I go.. The wedding is done! Do you realise that Ms. Archana
is so happy for you? For the first time, she laughed
with her lungs. Did you see? Oh, my God.
It’s so scary. Sapna, this doesn’t seem
like Ms. Archana’s laughter. This feels the laughter
of a ghost. D-Don’t be scared.
I am with you! Hey! Well done!
– If you are brave stay where you were.
Don’t you dare come out! Beware! Tell us who you are laughing at. What if he misunderstands
his actions were right? Everyone knows me here.
You are the newbie here. Really? If you had done
what you should’ve I’d not have come here! Oh, no.. Ghost.. Sapna, that’s a ghost!
– Don’t be scared. I know a sage.
I will call him right away. Call him!
– Oh, God. Please come, Blue Sage. Please come,
Blue Sage. Please stop. He holds an electric wire. Hail Blue Sage.
– Yes! He chases away
gas in no second. Hail Blue Sage!
– Yes! Hi. I am Sapna. You look like a nightmare! You are as ugly as a toad! Sage, we have a serious
problem here. Congratulations.
Who is in trouble? Is it you or your wife? What are you saying?
She is still unmarried. It’s all right. If God wills,
she’ll die unmarried. If you laugh too much,
I will beat you to a pulp! Jeez. I forgot
to introduce them. My disciples, one is arrogant
and the other irritated. Two girls, both of them
are just ruining glamour. Phone.. Sir, it’s Virat. Hello. Yes, Kohli. You will win the world cup! Just ask Sachin
to play aggressively. He isn’t playing? You’d have definitely
said something to him. What nonsense was that?
Mr. Sachin retired. How come he retired
so soon? Look at me. I am still
working at this age. What? There is a certain
age limit for cricketers. There is no age limit
when it comes to love. Why are you talking
about love now? Cricket is connected
to love! All the pretty girls
are marrying cricketers and I am stuck with
the two of them! Since the cricketers earn
a lot of money people love them. These days,
love is like water. The rain is pouring so heavily the world cup seems
like a water cup. Sage, we are dealing
with a huge problem over here. Tell me everything
from the beginning. Should I tell you?
– Yes. Eleven years ago, we started
the show ‘Comedy Circus’. She used to laugh menacingly
over there as well. Foolish woman, I don’t want you
to tell me those things. You are telling me the details! I’d like to tell
give you an advice. – Yes. Do not go on a honeymoon
after you get married. – Why? Because your husband’s money
will get wasted because nothing will happen.
Yes.. Wow! The weather is so lovely. Can anyone get tea for me? Do you want me to get
mint chutney along with it? Please get garlic chutney
instead. I am not supposed to have
mint chutney. Do you understand?
Idiot! I am not an idiot.
He is. He married this tree, you know. You wretched man, why do you
want to destroy this tree? A fraudulent sage like you
suggested me to do it. How dare you call him a fraud!
Sage is 100 per cent authentic. She is absolutely right.
If you say that again I will get angry and leave.
– No.. Sage, don’t go. I am serious.
– No.. Look at the blue ticks.
I am verified. I am not a fraud. Wow! Yes! This is amazing! I had no idea, there’s a
fancy dress competition in our neighbourhood. Oh, wow! He’s so smart.
Who are you? I am Baccha. – Which
animal gave birth to you? Good one! Hey, blue coloured man!
– Is he talking to me? I am Baccha Yadav. Yes.
– Really? I have fathered 11 children.
– Really? Where did you find him?
Who is he? He is a renowned sage.
– What.. Hey, blob! Wow!
– We called the sage over because there’s a
ghost in the society. That’s not real.
Ghosts aren’t real. It’s just your imagination. The future is also an illusion. That’s not true. Mr. Sidhu is a ghost
and Ms. Archana is present. Only the channel knows what’s
going to happen in the future. We do not know anything. I am serious. Wow, Sage. Whatever you said
about the fortune in a single line,
you’ll surely become Munshi Premchand of Nala Sopara. Wow.. Why are you praising this guy? Guys like him disguise
themselves as salesmen and they loot houses. Do not disrespect me or else, I will trap you
in a bottle with my mantras. He cannot be contained
anywhere. How can you trap him
in a bottle? Well, that’s not a big deal. Our sage caught a huge cobra,
once. Was it in the jungle?
– No, at a wedding. Yes. One woman was dancing
like a serpent and I caught her. I caught that woman
but her husband beat me up black and blue. I was beaten up severely. Sage!
Forget about that. Tell me, can you capture
ghosts and spirits? That’s not a big deal. Once, I had captured a Dracula
but he got away. – Why? Because the door was open. That’s not it. One time, I encountered a djinn. The djinn was in front of me.
– What happened after that? I gulped down
an entire bottle of gin. Wow! – I had captured
another ghost. I am serious.
Look.. Look at this. – What’s that?
That’s an underwear. I captured the underwear
of the ghost when he was getting away. The ghost is so ashamed
that he doesn’t come anymore. What’s that?
What’s happening? Not here. Who is trying to frighten me? Tell him that if I start crying,
I will not get mollified until I get a lollipop. What’s that?
– Sage! Sage..
– What? T-This..
This is the ghost’s stuffed toy. D-Do something, Sage. Mr. Ghost, you dropped
your stuffed toy. But don’t worry.
I will play with him. Oh, dear.. It’s so lovely.
– What are you doing? Do not do stupid things?
Do it quickly or else,
I will call another priest. Okay, I will do it right now. Do not beat around the bush.
Just come here. Yes! Raja!
Raja, come. Raja, oh!
Raja, come! Did you see my powers? I didn’t finish
chanting the mantras and the witch is here already.
Catch her! Sage!
She is my future wife! Oh, hello! Excuse me!
Have you seen your face? He cannot afford kiwis
and he wants me to be his wife. Wow!
She’s talking about kiwis. Some women get wooed
by cheaper fruits. Yes.. I might say something
inappropriate to you which I am not supposed to say
in a family show. Sage’s plan..
Turn her into a mouse! Sage, turn her into a frog! Sage, please make her my wife.
– I.. I want you to turn her
into a normal woman for a day.
– Brother-in-law! I am a normal woman. I am more womanly than you. How’s that true? She’s so haughty. Sage, you’re wasting a lot
of time. Do something, quickly. Tell me, what’s going on
over here? He married a tree
because of you. – What? The ghost that was haunting
this tree it is after him now. I am telling you,
ghosts aren’t real. That’s not true.
I have seen ghosts. I believe her because humans
wouldn’t interact with her. Brother-in-law! No..
– Hold on.. I think this is witchcraft. I am coming across such variety
in ghosts, for the first time. Until now I have gotten rid of ghosts
that were around five years old. I have never gotten rid of
ghosts as old as this one. If you have an idea
to get rid of the ghost whisper the idea in my ear
and I will get rid of the ghost. Sage!
Sage.. If you really
don’t know anything you can clean my ear
in order to kill time. Foolish mush! Sage, it’s not ‘mush’.
It’s ‘man’. I can pronounce the word ‘man’ and you’re correcting me! You’re rusticated!
Yes! You are asking me
to clean your ear. Your timing is very bad.
I do it between 6 to 8. After that, I clean my ear. Yes, he does it in front
of the bus stand behind the bus number 133. And do not go behind
the bus number 134. Sage washes clothes over there. Tel them everything. Go ahead and
tell them everything. I bathe behind the bus
number 134 and I clean myself
behind bus number 133. Amazing! Listen to me,
group of ghosts. You have come here
at the wrong time. ‘Super Dancer’ has ended. If you had come
during that show Shlipa Shetty would have climbed
the ladder after seeing your performance
and she would have said.. That was superb.. I am not a dancer! I am Manju, the witch. I am no dancer! I am Manju, the witch. Listen to me. Are you coming from Madh Island? Someone is already
occupying the chair. Then, who is she? Are you trying
to make fun of me? Do you know
what is going to happen? Would you like to see that? Look! Look! Chandu.. Take your witch along
with you and leave from here. What do you mean?
I didn’t order her online. She climbed down from your tree. Mom..
– Hey! Stop trying to be funny. Oh, she doesn’t
want us to act funny. I think, she is here
from another channel. I am here to take my husband
along with me. Oh!
– The one who got married to the tree is my husband. Chandu! Chandu! She is talking in a manner the way girls talk
to their lover under a blanket. He seems to be too much
curious about me. I think, he is the one
who got married to me. No, chubby lady. I didn’t get married to you. I came here
to get these two married. Look, I’m even wearing
a traditional attire. We were planning
a music ceremony. Wow.. Brother-in-law,
that was too good. Here you go. Accept this bone as a gift.
– No.. I am sure, he is the one
who got married to me. No, I just borrow money.
I do nothing else. I know that it’s one of you.
– No! He is that filthy one!
He is the one! He got married to you. He is your husband. My beloved!
– No.. Before she kills me,
show her your powers. Hold this. Here you go! Come on..
– Boom! Boom!
Come on, boom! Boom!
– Why aren’t my powers working? I had told them
to feed me eggs. I had said it
that be it Sunday or a Monday one should eat eggs. But they don’t feed me eggs. Sometimes she says that I
shouldn’t eat the yellow part. Sometimes she says that I
shouldn’t eat white bread. Now see this.
My power is gone! I am not able to do anything. Leave from here! Get lost.
– Sage, forgive us! Please. I am a little characterless,
so I get convinced easily. Yes! Too good! Sage, forget these two and do something
about the chubby witch. Look, witch.
You cannot take him with you. Come here,
the man with an ugly face. Don’t be scared. Keep this thread with you. Put it around her neck. She will be scared of it
and won’t come closer. Yes! Come closer! Come on, come closer. Wow! That’s my nuptial chain! Sage!
– Thank you, Husband. At least now come with me. Are you here to catch the ghost
or get me married? Wait, Chandu.
I will do something. Ghosts are scared of fire. Does anyone have a lighter here? Lighter.. – Yes, Brother-in-law.
Here you go. Yes, very good! Hey! Why do you have a lighter? Actually.. Focus, don’t deviate
from the topic. Light it.
Ghosts are scared of fire. Light it..
– Yes.. Come on..
Light a pipe for me. Now that I am here,
I must smoke. She is a smoker! You’re very unlucky. The one whom you love
is a chain smoker and the ghost that loves you
also happens to be a smoker. Come on, Chandu!
Your life is all about smoke. If that’s true, even the witch
should get intoxicated. He is not Tom Cruise, either. That’s true. Bhuri, say something to her. I’ve heard that smokers
listen to each other. Yes, I will.
– Say it.. Dear, feed him on time.
He is a good man. Bye, Chandu.
We will not miss you. Now accompany me
without any further drama otherwise I will eat you alive. Spare me.. Wait.. Heartless people!
Have mercy on me. Okay, we will do something. Look, witch. If you want to eat
then just eat his hands. Leave the rest of him. Are you mad? If she eats his hands,
how will he beg? What you can do is eat his legs. I’ll give you some dip,
it will be a good combo. Hey! How can she eat his legs? Look at his nails.
They are so dirty. No one should eat
such unhygienic food. Nonsense! Sage.
– Yes. I have no expectations
from them. Please do something. I don’t expect
anything from myself. Listen.. You, the chubby witch! If you wish to eat then eat everything else
other than his hands and legs. My grandma’s knees
don’t work properly. She can use his legs. And I will use his hands to become even more powerful. Wow..
– Yes. Tell me something. Am I Chandu
or some chicken dish? ‘Eat everything else
other than his hands and legs.’ Please.
– My beloved. Come with me. It’s time to consummate
our marriage. Sage, for the sake
of this hairstyle.. Okay.
– …please do something. Okay. The way iron sharpens iron similarly only a witch
can deal with another witch. Disciples, chant the mantras and invoke the inner witch. As you say, sage.
– As you say, sage. Oil comes from Dubai! I invoke the inner witch! Oil comes from Dubai!
– I invoke the inner witch! Come on..
– Come on.. Come on..
– Come on.. – Come on.. Come on..
– Come on.. Manju, you are here
to eat my prey! You think you can have my prey! I will split you into two! I am not wearing bangles. These are bracelets.
And they are expensive! Wow! They’re so nice!
From where did you buy these? From Chor Bazaar!
– Okay. There is a jeweller ghost there.
I got it from him. I want to meet him.
– I will take you there. But don’t tell anyone.
– I won’t. Never!
– Have I ever? No, I won’t..
– Not to anyone.. They are behaving
like best friends. Are you witches
or best friends? Why are you gossiping? Vimla, ask Manju
to leave from here. Vimla!
– Manju! I won’t leave from here
without my husband. Manju!
– Vimla! Manju!
– Vimla! Hey!
– Who is he? While trying to catch the ghost
you changed its gender. Look, it’s not my fault. Bhuri asked me to come here so that she gets rid of Chandu. Bhuri, what did my love lack? Shall I reveal your
shortcomings to everyone? Everyone will be shocked! Go ahead! Even I will reveal
your such secrets that everyone will be surprised. Chandu, you dirty fellow! Keep your mouth shut! I might kill myself,
become a ghost and then kill you. Now, I am not scared of ghosts. Sage has helped me
get rid of my fear. He will bring
peace to all of us. Hail Sage Blue!
– All hail! Ms. Archana,
I must say something. For the first time a problem
got resolved in this locality without us chasing each other.
– No chasing! That’s good.. I am Manjulika! I am Sanjulika! Today, I will eat
everyone alive. Our 100 years of ritual
got completed today. I pay you.
How can you eat me? There was no chase. But this fat man
cast an evil eye! W-What to do? Sage! Sage is leaving!
– Do something about them. I just have one way
to get rid of these witches. What is it? Everyone say it together.
– What? R-U-N! Run.. Wow! Kapil.. Ms. Archana, we’ll be having
a very special guest here. Let me tell you
about the guest. Hold on. Has our production
value increased so much that we can afford two people
with similar facial features? Who are the two of you? I am Chinky and she is Minky.
– I am Chinky and she is Minky. Wait a moment. Who is Chinky
and who is Minky? We just told you.
– We just told you. I am Chinky and she is Minky.
– I am Chinky and she is Minky. How cute! – No,
who are you and who are you? Forget these random talks.
– Forget these random talks. Listen to me.
– Listen to me. I am new to this society.
– I am new to this society. But your friend..
– But your friend.. What is his name? Chandu!
– What is his name? Chandu! He teases me everyday.
– He teases me everyday. Wait a moment. Does he tease you
or does he tease you? He teases me.
– He teases me. I don’t know about her.
– I don’t know about her. Amazing! Do you work on a remote?
Who is controlling you? Forget about me.
– Forget about me. Control Chandu.
– Control Chandu. He whistled at me yesterday.
– He whistled at me yesterday. I got angry.
– I got angry. And threw my sandal at him.
– And threw my sandal at him. He is very shameless.
– He is very shameless. He asked what would he
do with one sandal. He asked what would
he do with one sandal. He asked to throw
the other one too. He asked to throw
the other one too. He must have got
four sandals then. Why four?
– Why four? I wear two sandals.
– I wear two sandals. No. I mean to say
that both of you might have thrown
your sandals, right? I threw it.
– I threw it. I don’t know about her.
– I don’t know about her. This is the first time in life
when glamour has confused me. Do you consider yourselves
two or one? I am alone.
– I am alone. I don’t know about her.
– I don’t know about her. Also, you are very smart.
– Also, you are very smart. Stop having stupid friends.
– Stop having stupid friends. Okay, bye, Kapil Sharma.
– Okay, bye, Kapil Sharma. I am telling you this. If I had a twin brother we would cheat people
and make a lot of money. Ms. Archana, today’s guest
has given four back to back
super hit movies in the past two years and he is ruling over
the hearts of entire India. I would like to welcome him
with a huge round of applause. Please welcome
the very handsome and versatile actor and singer,
Ayushmann Khurrana. Mr. Ayushmann’s movie,
‘Article 15’ is releasing. The trailer is amazing.
– Thank you so much. I’m congratulating
you in advance. – Thank you. I know that the movie will
earn more than Rs. 200 crores. No, not that much.. He is doing a great job. You know, this is the first time
where Mr. Ayushmann is playing the role
of a police officer. Well done. You are looking
amazing. – Thank you, Mr. Kapil. You are looking great.
– Thank you, Mr. Kapil. The movie looks great too. It is based
on a serious topic. Did the director train you
for the police officer’s role or did you spend time
with police officers? Many of my friends
are IPS officers. – Okay. So, I know them. I have a friend named
Mr. Manoj Malvia. – Okay. I have emulated him
in the movie. Okay.
You could have told us. We would ask you
to spend time with Ms. Archana. She keeps meeting
the police officers. Do you guys know? Most of
Ayushmann’s movies has been shot in Uttar Pradesh
or Uttarakhand. At the most, he has gone
to Haridwar for his shoot. Don’t you get movies which
are shot in America and Canada or don’t you have
a passport? ‘Andhadhun’s’ climax
was shot in Poland. – Okay. That was for two days.
– Two days. Those two days
were amazing. Otherwise, I haven’t shot
ahead of Haridwar. People go to Haridwar
to seek blessings. He is earning Rs. 200 crores.
Well done. Very good. Rs. 200 crores reminds me
of something. Congratulations
for the success of ‘Badhaai Ho’. Thank you. You know, we had celebrated
the success of your movie here. Your onscreen parents,
Mr. Gajraj and Ms. Neena had come on our
show. – Yes, I watched it. Do you still feel shy
to go out with them? You didn’t come on that day. Everyone enjoyed
that episode a lot. You get the feeling
of parents when you shoot together
for two months. It feels like a family.
– Actually. I had actually
started feeling shy that they are going
to have a child. Do you know
what did Dinesh say after seeing Ms. Neena
and Mr. Gajraj? They are the parents
of ‘Vicky Donor’. They can do anything
at any age. It’s a big deal
even if you deliver one super hit movie
these days. Ayushmann has given hits
like ‘Bareilly Ki Barfi’ ‘Shubh Mangal Savdhan’,
‘Andhadhun’ and ‘Badhaai Ho’. He has given four
back to back super hit movies. And you have also come on
‘The Kapil Sharma Show’. Mr. Kapil.
– Wow! This is the most
super hit show. Come, Ayushmann.
Welcome to the show. Sit.
– Thank you. You are looking handsome.
– Thank you. Ayushmann, I have heard
some rumours about you. Okay.
– I don’t believe them. I believe in authenticity. So, I thought of confirming
it when you come on our show. Tell us whether
it is right or wrong. I have heard
that you would pay extra money for trimming your eyebrows
when you would go for a haircut. Is this true? Well.. I don’t know about this. But I know that when
I was struggling to become an actor..
– Okay. I would go
for auditions. A casting director told me that only my eyebrows
can be seen. My face is
not visible. – Oh, God! He told me
that I cannot become an actor because I have
thick eyebrows. Didn’t you meet
that director again? He meets me.
But it’s okay now. But I told him
that I won’t trim it. Don’t tell me to do this.
– Yes. You are looking good.
– Thank you. I can move my
eyebrows too. Take a look. Wow! My eyebrows also
have some talent. Well done.
He is the male version of Rekha. I can move it
with the beats. People keep their kids away
from fire, knife scissors and medicines. But you keep your kids
away from your movies. This is true. How do I explain
what is happening? Every child
is looking for a hero. They like the movies
done by Tiger Shroff and Varun Dhawan because they hit
10 people and jump around. My dad was hitting me
with a slipper in ‘Dum Laga Ke Haisha’.
– Yes. Tabu is hitting me
in ‘Andhadhun’. My son got depressed
after watching it. What is this? Dad is getting beaten up.
– He was really depressed. He was like three
or four that time. And they take it
very seriously that somebody
is hitting their dad. When they grow up
and check the business they will realise
how smart their dad was. This is a strange rumour. You wear only pink
coloured boxers. What is this?
– Oh, God! I had a kink of wearing pink
at one point of time. Not anymore. I mean, there was
a phase in my life where I thought
pink boxers are really cool. I had been to USA. I found cartoons
on the boxers. – Yes. I cannot show it to you.
I’m just explaining it. I found them
to be very cute. So, I purchased
many pink boxers. Don’t you wear them now?
– Not now. If anybody wants
to purchase them now they are available for sale.
Second hand. I mean, if you..
Anyway.. Second hand. I have heard somewhere that you had a crush
on Deepika. But you had a crush
on Ranveer too. Ranveer? Is this true?
– Yes. I have a crush
on both of them You like Ranveer.
– This is absolutely true. It happens.
– What’s the problem? No, there is no problem. Kapil is feeling jealous now. Why would I be jealous?
I didn’t get her. I admire her.
I mean.. We all do.
– I respect her. We all do. I mean, she has worked hard.
She is talented. God has blessed her
with huge success. I’m proud of you too,
Mr. Ayushmann. I..
– You are right. You wanted to say something. I wanted to say that
Deepika Padukone and Ranveer watched ‘Andhadhun’
during their honeymoon. Oh, wow! So, the crush is not
one sided. Well said. Okay, last rumour. There is a rumour
that before joining the industry you wrote letters
to Shah Rukh Khan to ask him for work.
Is this true? I had written
a letter to him. I used to work in
the radio then. – Okay. I was sitting
outside his vanity to take his interview.
– Okay. It was six to seven hours.
His ad film was being shot. He packed up then. So, he didn’t have time.
We had to shoot some other day. I had prepared a letter. I wrote a letter to him
that I want to become an actor. I had written
something as such. I didn’t give it to him.
But I had kept it safe. Okay.
So sweet. People do such things
during their childhood. Fans! Now, it’s time to invite
some more actors and the director
of the movie ‘Article 15’. Let’s welcome
with a huge round of applause the very talented
and versatile actor Mr. Manoj Pahwa and the beautiful actress,
Isha Talwar and the movie’s director,
Mr. Anubhav Sinha. Mr. Manoj, Isha, Mr. Anubhav,
welcome to the show. Let’s have a huge round
of applause for our guests. You might have seen
Mr. Manoj in many movies
and TV serials. He plays comic roles. But, Mr. Manoj,
‘Article 15’ is a serious movie. How did you get associated
with this movie then? Mr. Sinha is an old friend
of mine. He is a director.
– Yes. He is the only director who cannot see
a comedian within me. Really? I don’t know whether
it’s a compliment or not. It’s a compliment.
– It’s a huge compliment. It’s a huge compliment.
– It’s a huge compliment. I had an emotional role
in ‘Mulk’. – Yes. I have a different role
in this movie too. Even in the movie ‘Tum Bin’. I like to work with him
and do different rules. Very good, Mr. Manoj.
– He is on the poster this time. Yes, I am on the poster
this time. That’s great. The feel of appearing
on the poster is different. I know. – You
cast him in all your movies. Do you find him more talented or have you taken
a loan from him? This is true. I had taken a loan
from him long back. I have repaid it. But I am still paying
the interest. The friendship is old. Isha’s full name
is Isha Talwar. Isha, when you go
to the airport do you show your I card or your license
of the weapons? I am just kidding. Let me tell you
that Isha was born in Mumbai. She studied in Mumbai. She learnt dancing
in Mumbai. And your debut movie
was also a Hindi movie. I think it was
‘Humara Dil Aapke Paas Hain’. Yes, I was a kid then. You were small then.
– Are you serious? That was 18 years ago. Look at our research. Look at our budget. Have a look at our fruits. Very big budget show. Organic.
– Yes. Isha, there is a rumour..
– Yes. You have worked a lot
in the South. But you left
the South Indian movies and signed ‘Article 15’ because you wanted to come
on ‘The Kapil Sharma Show’. That’s true. I mean..
– It’s true. Yes, dear.
– It’s true. Look at this.
We.. I have worn golden pants. This is a golden moment
of her life. Wow!
– Exactly! How much does your pant weigh? I mean..
– Ask Mr. Mithun. Is it Mr. Mithun’s pant?
– Yes. Mr. Anubhav’s movies
are based on social subjects. But, Mr. Anubhav,
how did the topic of ‘Article 15’ come to your mind? It was a headline
in the newspaper that girls were hanged
or burnt. I think there are many
issues in this country which should be discussed. Like, I made a film
named ‘Mulk’. I think..
– It was a very good movie. Thank you.
I try to initiate a dialogue through my movies.
So.. It’s enough for me.
It’s a big achievement for me. Very good. Do you know?
In last few years Ayushmann did three movies
where Mr. Manoj’s wife played as his mother-in-law.
– Yes. Sir, don’t you feel
like his father-in-law after seeing him in the set? To be honest,
I didn’t miss Ms. Seema at all because of him. I am doing ‘Bala’ now.
And Ms. Seema is there too. So anyone of them
should be in my film. Great! Otherwise,
Ayushmann doesn’t work. Otherwise, my picture
doesn’t work. Yes, it’s.. What! Attention please! The king of the kings,
the friend of Prince Charles and the brother-in-law
of Queen Elizabeth the twin brother
of Bachha Yadav Achha Yadav,
is coming here from London to claim his share. Wow! I am back! Friends, I am back!
My Indian brothers and sisters Did you ever love anyone?
– Yes! Keep it to yourselves.
Why are you telling me? Hello, Mr. Anubhav.
How are you? Hi.
– Hi. Hi, Mr. Manoj.
How are you? Hi, Isha.
Ayushmann, how are you doing? I am good.
– Just a moment. Take it. Who is he?
Someone has sent two persons in a jacket
with one head. Who are you?
– You gave my introduction. He didn’t even understand
who I am. What’s the use? What’s the use.. Give my introduction again.
– Hold on.. Attention please! The younger brother
of Bachha Yadav.. It’s enough.
I have understood. Why didn’t you say this before? I didn’t understand earlier. I raised my hands
on my bodyguard for no reason. Hey, come on.
Don’t be upset. Hey, it’s okay..
Go and start the fan of my helicopter.
And get my underwear dried. Okay?
I will be there soon. Okay, sir.
– Go.. – Sir. Thank you. Thank you. Sir, I have come from London.
– I know. – I am from London. Kapil Sharma, you are
a good person. I have brought a gift for you
from London. Here it is. Sari!
– Sari! Why have you brought
a sari for me? You make everyone
wear a sari. You yourself should
wear a sari too. But really..
I still don’t understand why you make men wear saris. It’s ‘dilchaspi’,
not ‘dilchapsi’. Whatever it may be..
It’s your problem, right? He is talking rubbish.
Who are you? I am Shakira.
Shall I dance for you? It was said thrice.
Why doesn’t he understand? You know Bachha Yadav, right?
I am his twin brother, Achha. What kind of a name is this?
– It’s a nice name. Why am I talking to you? People who are sitting here
worth in crores. I will talk to them.
Why should I talk to you? Worth in crores..
– Hi, Ayushmann. I really have to tell you
that I am a huge fan of yours ‘Ayushmanbhava’.
– Thank you. He is Ayushmann Khurrana. Isn’t ‘Bhava’ your surname? Everyone keeps saying
‘Ayushmanbhava’.. It’s not your surname! No.
– It’s Khurrana? It’s kind of a blessing.
– Oh, my bad! It’s Khurrana, right?
Carry on. I won’t stop you. What do you mean? A person will say that
he wants to itch himself. I will say,
‘carry on’. Similarly, he is Khurrana. I will say,
‘carry on’. What’s my problem? It’s your life.
Do whatever you want. Enjoy.
It’s okay. However, it’s so nice
to meet you. I.. I am lucky.. What does ‘Lucky’ mean
in Hindi? It’s..
– Fate. – No. Fortunate.. What will you say
‘hundred run away’ in Hindi? What?
– ‘Hundred run away’. ‘Soubhagya’..
It’s my good fortune.. Oh.. It’s my good fortune..
– Get it for me, sir. I have run away.
– I will get it later. But it’s my good fortune
that I have met you today. That’s why, I rushed
to White village. What’s White village? What means ‘Gore’,
village means ‘Gaon’. Isn’t it Goregaon? Wow! Superb!
– Thank you, sir. Everything needs to be
explained to him in written. I don’t know.
He can’t understand easily. It’s okay.
Ms. Isha. – Yes. I have brought a gift for you.
– Wow! – Yes. What’s this?
– It’s a lovely gift. What’s this?
– Yes. You can even stay in it.
– What! – See this. Oh!
– You are Talwar, right? You should stay inside
a scabbard. But let me tell you don’t take this home with you.
– Why? – Why? Because two swords can’t
fit in one scabbard. Oh, wow..
– Oh.. But Kapil Sharma,
I didn’t understand one thing If two legs can fit in a pants then why can’t two swords
fit in one scabbard? So weird.. Yadav, which part of London
do you live in? I-I.. Do you know
where London bridge is? Yes, we know.. Four potheads live
under that bridge. Ask them where do I live. I ask them my address
whenever I forget it. Ma’am, I’m sorry about
the phone call. Sorry.. It’s Prince Charles..
He’s my friend. – Oh.. Prince Charles.. Yes, Prince..
What’s popping? What? Your mom’s knees
are hurting? Ask her to apply olive oil. I said ‘Jaitun’ and not Mithun. Alright. And inform Prince Harry that I will bring him
cow urine from here. Yes. Yes, from the same ‘Guy’. Not a man’s urine..
We use ‘Guy’ in Hindi as a cow. He thinks..
Okay, I’ll get the cow urine. Sorry.. My bad..
– So do you know Prince Charles? Do I know him? Prince William just got married. I was the one who decided,
where their aunts and uncles will be sitting in the wedding.
– Oh, my gosh! Who goes on a honeymoon
with Prince Williams.. I decided that..
– Who goes.. One takes his wife
on a honeymoon. Common people like you go with
their own wives on honeymoon. He is a prince for Christ sake. He goes with anyone.. It is quite common
in my country. So do you live alone in London? No, man. We’ve got a lot of
white people there now. I mean, do you have
a family there? Yes, of course.. My two sister,
my four brothers-in-law we all live together.
– Wait a second. What do you mean by two sisters
and four brothers-in-law? You’ve got five sponsors
for one show did I ask you why? My two brother-in-law
aren’t married yet. As soon as they get married,
I’ll have two more sister. What’s you problem? What do you do in London? This was the first time you have asked an important
question. You talk about
unnecessary things. Let me tell you.. I started English speaking
course in London. What?
– English speaking.. ‘English Speakna Speak’ I started a class over there..
– Speakna.. But guess what, Sir..
– What? People in London already
knew how to speak in English. Someone taught them English
before I went there. But I didn’t give up on my goal,
Sir. I came here to teach Hindi. Oh!
– Yes.. Well done. Everyone knows Hindi here. Are you serious?
Do you know it? – Yes. What the heck is
happening with me? That mean, somebody taught
Hindi to people already? Yes. – Yes. Who is this man,
stealing my bread? What is it called?
– Fixated.. – Yes, fixated. Who is it who is fixated
on stealing my bread? Well done. What a life..
Sir, to tell you the truth.. As soon as I came to India
I went to a state.. What do you call it when
people climb something.. ‘Uttar.’
– Yes, Uttar Pradesh.. Uttar Pradesh..
– I went to Uttar Pradesh, Sir. Over there..
I can’t believe it.. It is so hot there, Ma’am.
So hot that.. Usually, people’s noses
start to bleed due to heat. Over there, people’s mouths
we’re bleeding. Seriously, how is that? It was so bad that people
couldn’t speak properly. ‘Abe Sasur Ka Nati..’
This is how they spoke. And then.. ‘Pan.. Pan..’
– And.. They were spitting
blood everywhere. Blood everywhere.. They must have eaten ‘Pan.’
– ‘Pan..’ Ate ‘Pan..’
– Yes. No wonder, this one man I was
taking him to the hospital he started to beat me up. Man, I was so shocked. I needed some help
from Mr. Ayushmann. Help means, your ‘Sahayata.’ I must help Mr. Sidhu
to get a justice. Who is it?
– Mr. Sidhu. As if someone did wrong to him. No.. You took it wrong.
Don’t worry.. He’s facing some problem
with his land in Amritsar. I was talking about that.. Then is alright. No.. I mean, he has already
put bounty on your head. I am just kidding.
I am just joking. It is nothing..
See.. How I made people laugh. It’s not called ‘Hasta’
in Hindi. It’s ‘Hasi.’
– Then laugh, man. Life is only three days long.
Enjoy.. What do you mean by
‘three days?’ Hindi proverb says,
four days of life. I’m from London where nights are longer and days
are shorter there hence I said,
‘three days of life.’ By the way, Sir
let me tell you.. I am also a professional
‘Joshitty.’ Astronomer! I’m a professional astronomer. It’s astrologer. – Astrologer.
– It’s one and the same. Whatever!
I predict the future. Let me read your hand. Give me a chance. My thumb points this side and your thumb
points the other side. His hand is unique
unlike ours. But you don’t have to be scared.
Such people are lucky. Such people are very generous.
They make a lot of donations. That saying.. I’ll give you
a backhanded slap. They are generous.
That’s good. Show me your hand. Your movie will earn
Rs. 300 crore. But your movie can earn
Rs. 1,000 crore if you follow my idea. How come? – By shelling out
the remaining amount from your pocket, pal. It happens!
But it’s good. Your future is bright, sir. Let me see your hand. I can see your hand
and tell you as to what you’re thinking.
– What? – What? You are thinking
about Ms. Isha. Wow!
– I know you’re thinking that she’ll reach
greater heights. I know that you’re thinking that she’ll progress a lot
in the future. – Exactly. I just saved you.
Don’t think about her. It’s not good.
– Is that so? Don’t think about her.
– Forget it! – Yes. Ma’am, can you show me
your hand? – Sure. It’s the same hand.
– Which hand? The one, my mom
was looking for the alliance. If you don’t have any objection you can have me
as your husband. Hold on. Please show me your hand, sir. Please have a look. Other astrologers
talk big and predict the future as to what happens
after five to ten years. But I can tell you
as to what is going to happen in 10 seconds.
– What? A normal astrologer
can’t do it but I can. You will say ‘No’
after 10 seconds. Sir, please cast me
as a hero in your next movie. No!
– There you go! There you go! No! I just proved it. This is called as astronomy.
– Sure.. Hold on, sir.
I’ll get back to you. I got a call. Hello.
What are you saying? I’ll be there in a bit.. Sir, Mr. Donald,
the president of America left without taking his trump. He left his trump behind. It’s my responsibility to deliver
the trump to him. I am leaving now.
Hello. Dear, do me a favour.
Get my jet. No, I’m not talking
about the plane. The jet spray
of my bathroom is not working. Please fix it.
I want to use the restroom. Sir, I need to go.
I’m sorry. – Okay. There you go.
– Thank you very much. Take care.
I’ll see you later. I have some work to do.
Thank you, sir. I’ll see you. Thank you.. You all know that the movie
‘Article 15’ is about law. I would want to know
from the audience that given a chance
to make your own law what would that be?
You can share your thoughts. Yes, sir? Wow! He’s wearing
‘The Kapil Sharma Show’ T-shirt. Where did you get it from? Sir. – Yes?
– We got it done specially to attend the show. So sweet of you.
Thank you. Where are you from, sir? Sir, I hail from Delhi.
– From Delhi? This is my sister-in-law,
from Malaysia. She came especially
for this show. Oh, from Malaysia? Okay.
Greetings. Welcome. And the one on the other side? This is my daughter.
– Okay. Hello. Welcome. – Hi. That’s my mother.
– Your father is very young. Yes.
– You’re his daughter.. Many people call him my brother.
– Very nice. And the one next to you?
– Mom. Okay. You’re very welcome.
– She is my wife, sir. Okay, you’re very welcome, sir.
Yes.. Sir, the rule I’d like to make..
– Yes? I want to start it from my home.
– Okay. My wife, sir..
– Yes? She tells me she cooks
six days a week. – Okay. That she gets bored. – Okay.
– So she has made a rule. That she’d eat out every Sunday
and I have to take her out. That’s good.
– So I want to make a rule now. I need your help in that,
Mr. Kapil. My help? You want me to cook? No, not cooking.. You’ve
to promote this rule, sir. Okay. – Like.. She says cooking
six days a week is boring. Okay. – So, sir I also get
bored from looking at her six days a week. So I want
the permission to go meet my girlfriend on Saturdays.
That should be a rule. That’s it, sir. Anubhav agrees. Respect for that. He is
saying it in front of his wife that’s more interesting. And the amazing thing is,
she is laughing and smiling. Yes. – His daughter is shielding
him, sitting in the middle. Otherwise, she’d have pinched
you so hard.. She’d have torn some meat
with that pinch. Torn meat.. Yes, she’d have pulled
your liver out. Those kind of demands
shouldn’t be made, sir. Though I liked the idea. The idea wasn’t that bad.
– Good. You didn’t tell us
your name, sir. Rakesh Kumar.
– What do you do in Delhi? Sir, I’m software consultant.
– Okay. And logistic industries..
– Your idea was very hardware. All the best to you.
– Thank you. Stay safe on your way to Delhi. You have my well wishes.
– Thank you so much, sir. Thank you so much.
– Any other friend? Yes?
Yes, ma’am? Hello, Mr. Kapil.
Hello, everyone. My rule is that.. Like.. Ladies, they’ve to carry ‘Sindur’. They’ve to wear a nuptial chain.
Why is there no such rule for boys? – You can tell it
from their face. No, I mean.. I meant.. Who can tell
by looking at Mr. Ayushmann that he is married?
Or that he has kids? Tell me. No, one second.
Who can tell by looking at me that I’m married? But they can tell by
looking at your husband. That this man is so married.
– So married! Heavily married. Are you married?
– No, I’m not. What’s your name?
– Shruti. Shruti. – Yes?
– Why do you want this rule? Yes.. – Because
I’ve been through this. What? – Like I checked
someone’s social media profile. I liked a boy.
I approached him for dating. Oh, okay.
– Thinking let’s talk to him. Then you find out he has a kid.
So, how do we judge? They should also have
some indication mark. She says they should have
a mark. That mark..
If he wants to cheat he’ll remove the mark
before coming to meet you. Right. – Actually, how many
men here agree with her? That men should have a mark?
– No one.. Who would agree?
– No one, I’m telling you. Is there anyone here?
Raise your hand. No one, Shruti. How many women agree with her?
– All of them. – All of them. All of them. Look. It’s okay. We can do it. Not a big problem.
I think it’s fine. It should be. – Men should
also apply ‘Sindur’. Not ‘Sindur’, a mark.
That’d look very cute. The colour must be good too.
– It has to look cute as well? Red mark..
– He has to put a mark and he has to look cute too?
– He must look cute. Only then we will select him.
Not just anybody.. – Select! If you want him to look cute
after the mark then you don’t actually care.
– Yes. Should look cute without
the mark. – Point to be noted. Do this.. Whoever you like
in the whole India just leave with him.
Or else, it’d create problems for the others.
– Just leave with him! But where do I go?
That’s also a problem. Anywhere! Bhutan, Nepal,
Sri Lanka, anywhere.. Do you know why?
You’ll spoil the others if you stay here.
No, I’m joking. But your idea was good though.
We’ll pray to God.. Thank you.. – … that you get
a fresh piece. Thank you.
– Thank you. Thank you.
– Thank you very much. Any other friend who would like
to put forth their idea? Yes..
Come. Hello, Mr. Kapil.
Hello, everyone. – Hello. – Hi. You’re greeting so fast.
Are you in some hurry? Speak a little slowly.
Yes. Sir, I’m Shubham Singh.
– Chubam Singh! Shubham Singh! – Shubham?
– Shubham. – Oh, okay. I thought, what kind of name
is Chubam Singh? Yes, Shubham.
Where are you from? I’m from Mumbai, sir.
From Andheri. From Andheri? Okay.
– Yes, sir. Is it still dark
or is it better now? Okay. Shubham, what would
you like to say? Sir, I’d like..
There should be a rule that.. Girls don’t upload their
original photo on social media. Oh! – Ma’am, pay attention. Ms. Shruti.
– No, it’s true. They can see each other.
– It’s wrong. Sir, it has happened to me.
– What do I tell you? It has happened to everyone. That’s a good point
you’ve noted. Once.. A girl had such
a good photo as profile. She was looking better
than even Deepika Padukone. Okay.. These people, they go by
online names like ‘Angel Priya’. You’ll find a lot of them.
Angel Priya, Sweet Lovely.. You’ll find a lot of these.
– Look how much research he has done. Look at him.
– It’s from the past. Not now. Okay.
– He is experienced. So I want a rule that requires
girls to upload their original photos,
not some heroine’s photos. That’d shut down 70 per cent
social media accounts in India. Original photos, yes.
A very good suggestion. Absolutely. What happened
to you, Shubham? Same, sir. I told you.
I went to meet her.. What did you find?
– She was not that girl. It was a boy?
– She wasn’t even a girl! A boy?
– I mean.. She was a girl. She was a girl, sir,
but not the one from that nice looking photo.
– Did you say something to her? I didn’t say anything.
Just.. Turned away.
– I left after seeing her. Okay. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you, Shubham.
Anyone else? Yes, ma’am would like
to say something. Greetings, Mr. Kapil.
– Greetings. – I’m Jaya Mehta. Yes, Ms. Jaya?
– Basically, I’m from a small village, Pithoragarh.
– Okay. The biggest problem there..
Not just there, it’s a problem for everyone in the hills.
That there are a lot of fires in the jungles. – Okay.
– And the government isn’t able to do much
to put them out. It has destroyed
all the jungles. And you see it.
The temperature in Delhi is 48 degree Celsius.
So I want the government to make a rule that..
Like, in Philippines the students can only graduate
after they’ve planted ten trees each.
– That’s a very good idea. So, I think we should also
have such a rule.. That’s a beautiful suggestion.
We’re already doing a lot of such projects.
I even plant a tree on my birthday. We did..
Our environment minister of Maharashtra, Sudhir Bahu..
He ran a campaign. Ten million trees were planted.
– Yes. Actually, you’ve raised
a very good point. So.. I’d heard this news.
There was a lady, from south. She is over 100,
but many years ago.. She was unable to have kids.
So she decided to commit suicide.
But she somehow survived. Then she adopted hundreds
of thousands trees she planted those trees,
she nurtured them. She has planted a lot of trees
in south. – I read about it too. We have this request
from the government. But along with that, all of you
who are watching on TV we request you to plant
as many trees as you can. Only if we take this
responsibility individually can the future generations
fully enjoy it. It’s possible that there is
not even proper oxygen for the future generations.
So, ma’am has raised a good point.
Thank you so much. Hi, Kappu, how are you?
– I am fine. Don’t talk like me.
– When do I talk like you? Congrats.
– For what? Our show has crossed
50 episodes. So what is the big deal? Not for you, for me
it’s a big deal. After a long time,
I have crossed 50 episodes. Otherwise I too had a show,
in this channel earlier. My show was also not bad. The problem is with the
media, sir. – I see. When the show starts,
they write only 1-2 articles. And when it is going to end,
they write 14-15 articles. Hi, Article 15. Sir, how did you like
my creativity? Amazing! Very nice. How I connected Article 15
to this. Shake hands. Very nice. It takes only one minute
to say it. It takes one month to make it.
Isn’t it, sir? Nonsense! Where does
it take a month? The show is telecast
twice a week. Okay, tell them everything.
So that they can also start another show.
Tell them. Then we both will open a shop
in Nalasopara and sit there. We are also from Nalasopara! Hi, how are you? Sir, how are you?
– Very good. Mr. Manoj Pahwa, right?
– Yes. Mr. Sunny is looking for you
with Khand. – Why? I wonder what it is
but he’s keen on finding it. So Khand is with him,
and Pahwa is sitting here. Ayushmann, how are you? Your movie is being released.
Congrats. Not that one, it’s Article 15. So I am not crazy, I am saying
congrats for Article 15. I see. I just wanted to know
one thing.. What’s that? Is this movie historical? No. – Why? I read in the paper, that he
has worked with some Talwar. That’s Esha Talwar, she is the
heroine. Oh, so you are Talwar.
– Yes. So after the shooting,
would you go back home or in the scabbard? Bacha Yadav has already
said this and gone. Yes, he has said this. Has he said it? – Yes. That fatso watches my rehearsals
and comes here and says it. He is very smart. Now I will watch the fatso’s
rehearsals and say all his punches here.
Watch me. But frankly speaking,
your movie ‘Badhai Ho’ was a magical movie.
– What magic was there? His dad tells his mom
a poem and a child is born,
what bigger magic than this? It was a film, it goes like
that in the story. But because of that we have
so much problem in Nalasopara. Do you have any idea?
– What? 35 year old boys are sleeping
between their mom and dad. They are very scared. That my dad may recite a poem
to my mom. Due to this, they can’t recite
poems to their own girlfriends. Anyway, you know
my boyfriend Mukesh. I caught him dirty handed. Dirty handed?
It is red-headed. No, we have
a pig washing service. You know pig..
They are pink colour. We are into washing them. So his hands are always dirty.
– Okay. You know a female pig was
passing, he teased her. – What? He was singing
Ayushmann’s song. – Which? “Where are you going
like a peacock?” I caught him, I asked what
he was doing. He said, it’s not like that,
I can see you in the pig. That’s what he said. He told me he can see
a pig in you. Really? – Yes. Kappu, tell me one thing. Do you use touch screen,
fingerprint phone? – Yes. So poke that, why are you
poking me? Let me talk about my
business here now. Let me sit.
– Come, sit. What are you doing? Sir, I run this
Sapna Beauty Parlour. We have all different types
of massage. We have one.. Article massage. What happens in that?
– Article. I have a friend Aarti,
I call her. – Okay. Aarti comes, and applies
the oil and leaves. – Then? The customer askes, where
is the massage? I tell him, Aarti will
come tomorrow. Article.. – It’s like that. There is a special massage
for you too, sir. Anubhav massage. Anu must come for this,
and shout ‘Bhav’ and leave. What nonsense!
It’s not like that. Bhav comes and does
a massage for Anu. It’s like that. That’s.. That is how it is, sir. So whenever you want to come,
please inform us. Sure. I will.. You all know that Ayushmann
is a very good singer. Even you know
what I am about to say. You’ve sung a song in the movie ‘Article 15’,
haven’t you? – Yes, sir. Please sing the same song
for us. Okay.
I’ll stand and sing. Give a big hand to the entire team
of ‘Article 15’. It’s time to click a nice photo. Ma’am, please come. Please come, Mr. Ayushmann. Please come closer. Wow!
That’s a beautiful photo! Give a big hand
to the team of ‘Article 15’. Mr. Ayushmann..
All the best. – Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Kapil. Thank you, sir.
– Thank you. Thank you, sir.
Nice meeting you.
Hello, Ms. Archana.