America’s Afghanistan Fiasco | The Daily Show

America’s Afghanistan Fiasco | The Daily Show

The war in Afghanistan. It’s basically
the Grey’s Anatomy of wars. We all thought
it ended years ago, but somehow,
it’s still going strong. And now, with the war
in its eighteenth year, we’re learning
for the first time how badly
Americans have been played. Tonight,
newly-released documents raised serious questions about whether
the American people were lied to about the progress
of the war in Afghanistan, the longest in our history. MAN: A massive new trove
of confidential documents obtained
by the Washington Post reveals U.S. officials systematically
lied to the American public about the Afghan war, virtually since the beginning,
18 years ago. The objective:
to conceal widespread fears that America was losing. The rosy picture
that’s been painted by our political
and military leadership, uh, is not the real picture
on the ground. Yes, for 18 years, the American government has been
painting a rosy picture, telling Americans everything has
been going great in Afghanistan, when, in reality,
it’s a total shit show. It’s basically the technique every failing couple uses
on Instagram, you know? It’s just like, “#datenight,
#couplegoals. Send.” It’s like, “Are you done
with your phone now?” “Well,
if you didn’t smile so shitty, I wouldn’t have to take so many
pictures, you dick. I hate you!” “I hate you more!” “Let’s do one more
in portrait mode! Ah!” (laughter) But, yes, we’re now learning from this bombshell
Washington Post exposé that the government manipulated
every detail about the war in Afghanistan. They used numbers
they couldn’t back up. They hyped small successes when they knew the big picture
was getting worse, and they even tried
to spin suicide bombings as a sign of success, which is
confidence, if nothing else. You know, it’s like making
a Tinder profile that says, “You know I’m a catch “because I have my own room
in my mommy’s basement. Swipe right.” Now, it’s not unusual for governments to try
and make things seem like they’re going well in a war
when they aren’t. But what makes the story
even more egregious was that they lied
about even having a plan. MAN:
It says, blunt as can be, “We didn’t know
what we were doing.” WOMAN: We didn’t know
exactly why we were there or how we could get out, and not a soul
could define victory. WOMAN 2:
Retired General Douglas Lute, the Afghan war czar,
saying in 2015, “What are we trying
to do here? “We didn’t have
the foggiest notion of what we were undertaking.” MAN 2:
We didn’t have a strategy. We didn’t even know
who the enemy was. Who were we there to fight? Wow. America sent its troops to Afghanistan for 18 years, and they didn’t even know
who they were going to fight? That’s not how you go to war. That’s-that’s a strategy
of a group of drunk dudes who are going out in Boston,
you know. Just like, “Someone’s getting
(bleep) up tonight, bro.” “Who?”
“I don’t know. Probably us.” (laughter) But basically,
part of the problem is that the people in charge
didn’t know how to define victory
in Afghanistan, right? Was it beating the Taliban,
or beating al-Qaeda, uh, making the country
a democracy? And if you don’t know
how to end it, then you should just wrap it up
and get out. You know, like they did
with Game of Thrones. She’s dead, he’s gone,
the bird kid is king. Roll the credits.
Roll the credits. Take the money, let’s go. But these people
stretched it out, and this report shows that America’s government
had little success and not much
of a strategy going in. But there was one thing
they had plenty of– money. The problem is,
as any rapper will tell you, more money,
more unnecessary expenditures. Aid workers in the field,
military officers, diplomats– they all said
this was more money than they could possibly spend. That they were ordered
by Congress and officials back in Washington to spend, spend, spend
as quickly as they could, as much as they could. Nearly a billion dollars on helicopters and planes
for the Afghans. Trouble is,
there is serious doubt that the Afghans can fly them. MAN 2: A half million
of your dollars wasted on a building that melted
four months after it was built. $34 million went
to a soybean-growing project, and soybeans don’t grow
in Afghanistan, and people in Afghanistan
don’t eat soybeans. MAN 3:
The Pentagon wasted millions on uniforms for the Afghan army. It was to buy
a forest camouflage pattern. Forests cover
only two percent of Afghanistan. Okay, that is just insane. $28 million
for forest camouflage in a country that’s all desert. The only way that
could have been a bigger waste is if it was
for Forest Whitaker camouflage. Yeah. At least that
would have confused the people. “Makhmoud! We’re being invaded
by the guy from Wakanda! “Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot!
I want his autograph! The strength
of the Black Panther!” So America spent
nearly $2 trillion on the war in Afghanistan with basically nothing
to show for it. And maybe that’s how
you get the U.S. Government to put money into things like
health care or teachers, right? That’s what Americans should do. Just tell them
the Taliban is there. Yeah. Then Congress
will be like, “The Taliban is attacking
schools and hospitals? “Give them more money! Give them
as much money as they need! “And send in three
Forest Whitakers just in case! -(cheering, applause)
-Do it!” Now… you might be thinking, “Who did this to us, Trevor? “Who can we be mad at?
Is it Trump? “Is it Bush? Is it Obama? “‘Cause I didn’t want
to say anything, (whispers):
but I think he’s black.” Well, actually, the answer is… all of the above. U.S. officials have misled
the American people about the conflict
across three administrations, with decades of upbeat
presidential pronouncements about the war. Our progress is a tribute to the
spirit of the Afghan people… and to the might
of the United States military. Here, in the predawn darkness
of Afghanistan, we can see the light
of a new day on the horizon. Great progress is being made. The spirit– and I’m hearing it
from everybody. Everybody that goes over
comes back and say… said, really,
it’s like a different place. Yeah. It turns out that Bush,
Obama and Trump all did their part to exaggerate
America’s success in Afghanistan. And I guess that’s
the silver lining in this story. In a country
increasingly divided every day, it’s nice to learn
that there’s one issue that brings
America’s leaders together: lying about war.

64 Comments

  1. Say!…isn't this EXACTLY WHAT "THE POST" MOVIE WAS ABOUT????
    Years and years of lying about the war because nobody wanted to admit they failed??? But no problem, as long as we can still spend more money in it and fuck the soldiers, we got more everyday?????
    Has América learned nothin???

  2. Fun Fact: The war could have ended by December 2001, but Donald Rumsfeld refused to give orders for our military to pursue Osama Bin Laden in the mountains of Tora Bora.

  3. I like this show. I usually laugh when I watch it. But I realized that the audience is getting told that they were lied to for 18 years. All the lost lives, all the injured people, all the anger and hate and resentment, all the tax money, all the lies. Yet the audience hears this and laughs. There have been countries that overthrow their government for much less. This is not funny. This is sad. Our country is devolving.

  4. I'd like to say I'm shocked and surprised – surprisingly I'm not! I am saddened that so much global money is pumped into war – who is benefiting? It isn't humanity!

  5. Its Time for a New Goverment. We the people are the Majority after all, yet we remain divided by their doing so that our strength is weakened. Its time to hold a truce eventhough our ways are miles apart at least we can all agree that this Government is fucking us All n we have to STOP IT NOW!

  6. I never believed in either war. Leading up to both wars people were saying "Nobody wants war!" I said oh yes they do. Dick Cheney increased his wealth along with so many others.
    And it's really sad that Afghanistan and Iraq were the wrong targets.
    Pakistan knew all along where Bin Laden was. Saudi Arabia continues to be a thorn in our side. And both are suppose to be our allies.
    More then money was lost here. Innocent blood is on our hands.

  7. Is anyone really surprised about this??? Seriously, this is not news, anyone with half a brain knows that the "War On Terror" was never meant to be won, it was meant to be prolonged in order to fill the pockets of Defense Contractors…I lost friends and a piece of my sanity in Afghanistan, I always try to find a silver lining but it's getting harder and harder…

  8. America is settling there strategically…..hmmmm… go on google maps ad checks who is neighbouring Afganistan and then if you know about history you will find that America has a bigger plan than that. I think it is Iran or it may be also China.

  9. Our politicians legal corruption. Kick back form military corporations. Use our tax money to start wars. Tulsi for president!

  10. And people died over this shit…..this is the most disrespect you can do to the military…..and all these arguments about we can't pay for free Medicare for all or bale out students from student loans. Now you can tell the United States government to cut the bullshit.

  11. The US government helped 3 categories with billions of US taxpayers' money. 1) The corrupted US Military Contractors. 2) Pro Taliban Supporters like Ghani who released hundreds of the Taliban members and never let the Afghan military to attack the Taliban positions. 3) The warlords who are one day against the Taliban and one day with the Taliban. The switch as needed for their business and income. The US occupation in Afghanistan made the lives of ordinary people like hell. Over 50% of people live in poverty. The US government knows how to stop and destroy the Taliban, but it has no plan to do so. The interest groups, contractors in the US and some corporations who benefit from the wars will never allow the US government to end the war in Afghanistan.

  12. First, Ghost Dog, the way of the Samurai… second, the forest camouflage spending reminds me of the scene in Goodfellas when Karen goes to pick something up from Jimmy and she remembers how the mob always comes to you as a friend before they kill you, and then bounces mad quick. Yea, forest camouflage in the desert…they're marks now…

  13. taxpayers buy shitloads of weapons, fight wars. Winners? Oil companies, bankers/investors (money lenders), some politicians, parts of wall street and arms manufacturers. Losers? Tons of civilians, thousands of rebels/terrorist, thousands of soldiers and a buttload of suicidal veterans. Same bullshit as usual. Your national debt skyrockets, your corporate lobbyism screws you over some more, until you get sucked into the next war or conflict. The people that profit off of these supposedly senseless wars never fight in them, that's for goddamned sure.

  14. It never ceases to amaze me how the US spends billions of dollars on wars and acquiring weapons of war but will never consider investing massively in the health and wellbeing of her own citizens.

  15. Military industrial complex… to be fair I feel like if we look back at previous presidents and their speeches as they left office we were warned as a nation. Unfortunately our education system let us down. In the end due to money in politics… we might end up like the Romans

  16. People laugh about this, but it is not even funny. The government has spent the citizens’ money on this shit.. unbelievable.. but let’s keep approving all this shit done by the presidents..

  17. I just gotta say, I appreciate the fact that not only is the Daily Show covering more than just the impeachment, but also not necessarily pulling punches either.

  18. Gonna have to remember moments like this when the National Debt finally hits a hard ceiling and the economy collapses, yet people are still going to wonder why.

  19. Plan:
    Steal anything you can find in Afghanistan( gas and minerals)
    Invade Afghanistan because of its strategical position next to Russia
    Inflam the civil war in Afghanistan by arming terrorists in it (as long as there is something left to steal from there )
    American media:
    We did it to help those inferior human beings (not said but frequently implied )
    American people:
    we could have had health care with that money
    Bitch plz the only reason why your country still has money is because of its well though wars against any other country that might have exploitable resources

  20. Full Metal Bullshit is so spot – Remember Russia trying to war with Afghanistan? Took at least 15 years (*ok Nine years) before they bailed? Ya. who's dumb now

    [it's ridiculous we rival with another revolutionary republic and Then make the same mistakes]

  21. And they can't spend money here in America to make America better and safer.. Fools… So many vets need health care l, so many homeless and sick.. Sad!

  22. Finally, a little bit of TRUTH comes out, Again about hoe "OUR" political system is SO seriously "CRIMINALLY FLAWED" played against "We The Peoples"…Really? Isn't time to "throw-out" All these incompetent greedy monetary political parties that 'Currently in place'?!
    Let's start it All OVER again(while still eatching our backs from the commies) who are ready to just pounce, when & if a "revolution" starts-up!?

  23. Sadly people get wrapped up in all the Patriotism, cool Military technology, and heartwarming vids of soldiers reuninting with families at NFL games WHILE the military contractors are bilking the government & the Congress HAS BEEN BOUGHT!

  24. Clearly there’s something we don’t know. If you think about it. All three presidents continued this war. The real question is what’s in that presidential book that there keeping a secret about Afghanistan

  25. 8 years of Obama. Disaster foreign policy in the Middle East. Almost the entirety of North Africa and and eastern Arabia destabilized. Let’s vote them in 2020! No success in 11 years!

  26. Yeah… Because when things work out… You stay for 18 years instead of sending troops home ?.
    But as long as contractors can get $200 for a bolt or a screw… Why not. Money for the rich continue but screw the poor kids who need to eat.

  27. I fuck with Crack, but the trail boy he fuck with crack (Crack)
    Pills and smack, Shady 'bout to relapse
    Call Kim, somebody get Hailie

    And that other kid you raisin', that ain't even your baby (Daddy)

    Come on Nick, that's Marshall, you don't need help
    Nigga, you a rider? No safety, fuck a seatbelt
    What? Is he out of his mind? I got a Glock
    And don't Eminem belong on the side of a .9? That's crazy
    Man, you act like Nick hurtin' your dreams
    You an M&M, how you mad a star burst on the scene? (Haha, you get that?)
    Let me find out you still in that trailer park, this how we do
    Run up and shoot the trailer, this the preview
    Clips

    He ain't really for the culture
    Fucked his baby mama in a choker (Choker)
    Picked her up like a chauffeur (Skrrt)
    On that Twitter wall like a poster (Ugh)
    On fonem she'll get cracked like cocaine mixed with soda
    When I take her soul, if the bitch die, I'ma still eat her, I'm a vulture
    Why Mariah name in your mouth?
    You forty-seven chasin' clout
    "Obsessed" came out in '08 and you just puttin' some out? (Damn)
    'Cause Marshall think he a ape, but a white boy with a backpack
    I do this shit for my real niggas, not the white boys tryna act black, on God
    Eazy

    [Outro: Suge Knight]
    It-it-it's time to sick that ol' buster ass, motherfucker
    But the shit you gotta realize you run that shit out there, man
    And at the end of the day, you got every person in the industry and every person in the streets
    Shit, where he gon' go? He just the new Vanilla Ice
    'Cause it's a matter of time before he hangin', right?
    Eminem's a bitch for bringin' bullshit up that's not true
    Say some shit and then when shit get a little hot, everybody wanna fall back
    Or they wanna run around with all these police
    You know, that ain't part-you're gonna be a rapper
    Any time you're a rapper, you shouldn't have a whole bunch of police badges around you
    Any time you be a rapper, you're supposed to be able to meet up with motherfuckers and handle your business
    But all we gotta do, is get that motherfucker in the ring with you and you're gonna beat the dogshit out of him
    That motherfuckin' simple
    Nick Cannon is a force in it-itself
    And if you have proper time for conversation, y'all got the same energy for doin' stuff for the people
    He not scared to do stuff for the people
    So if this dude want a real target on his back, that's on him
    But don't talk no shit and go and hide
    And you know what you call a man who ain't gon' stand up and fight? He's a bitch
    We should tell the motherfuckers in Detroit he got twenty-four hours to respond or they need kick his ass out that mothafuckin' city
    Hahahahaha, haha
    You have sixty seconds remaining

  28. I fuck with Crack, but the trail boy he fuck with crack (Crack)
    Pills and smack, Shady 'bout to relapse
    Call Kim, somebody get Hailie

    And that other kid you raisin', that ain't even your baby (Daddy)

    Come on Nick, that's Marshall, you don't need help
    Nigga, you a rider? No safety, fuck a seatbelt
    What? Is he out of his mind? I got a Glock
    And don't Eminem belong on the side of a .9? That's crazy
    Man, you act like Nick hurtin' your dreams
    You an M&M, how you mad a star burst on the scene? (Haha, you get that?)
    Let me find out you still in that trailer park, this how we do
    Run up and shoot the trailer, this the preview
    Clips

    He ain't really for the culture
    Fucked his baby mama in a choker (Choker)
    Picked her up like a chauffeur (Skrrt)
    On that Twitter wall like a poster (Ugh)
    On fonem she'll get cracked like cocaine mixed with soda
    When I take her soul, if the bitch die, I'ma still eat her, I'm a vulture
    Why Mariah name in your mouth?
    You forty-seven chasin' clout
    "Obsessed" came out in '08 and you just puttin' some out? (Damn)
    'Cause Marshall think he a ape, but a white boy with a backpack
    I do this shit for my real niggas, not the white boys tryna act black, on God
    Eazy

    [Outro: Suge Knight]
    It-it-it's time to sick that ol' buster ass, motherfucker
    But the shit you gotta realize you run that shit out there, man
    And at the end of the day, you got every person in the industry and every person in the streets
    Shit, where he gon' go? He just the new Vanilla Ice
    'Cause it's a matter of time before he hangin', right?
    Eminem's a bitch for bringin' bullshit up that's not true
    Say some shit and then when shit get a little hot, everybody wanna fall back
    Or they wanna run around with all these police
    You know, that ain't part-you're gonna be a rapper
    Any time you're a rapper, you shouldn't have a whole bunch of police badges around you
    Any time you be a rapper, you're supposed to be able to meet up with motherfuckers and handle your business
    But all we gotta do, is get that motherfucker in the ring with you and you're gonna beat the dogshit out of him
    That motherfuckin' simple
    Nick Cannon is a force in it-itself
    And if you have proper time for conversation, y'all got the same energy for doin' stuff for the people
    He not scared to do stuff for the people
    So if this dude want a real target on his back, that's on him
    But don't talk no shit and go and hide
    And you know what you call a man who ain't gon' stand up and fight? He's a bitch
    We should tell the motherfuckers in Detroit he got twenty-four hours to respond or they need kick his ass out that mothafuckin' city
    Hahahahaha, haha
    You have sixty seconds remaining

  29. I fuck with Crack, but the trail boy he fuck with crack (Crack)
    Pills and smack, Shady 'bout to relapse
    Call Kim, somebody get Hailie

    And that other kid you raisin', that ain't even your baby (Daddy)

    Come on Nick, that's Marshall, you don't need help
    Nigga, you a rider? No safety, fuck a seatbelt
    What? Is he out of his mind? I got a Glock
    And don't Eminem belong on the side of a .9? That's crazy
    Man, you act like Nick hurtin' your dreams
    You an M&M, how you mad a star burst on the scene? (Haha, you get that?)
    Let me find out you still in that trailer park, this how we do
    Run up and shoot the trailer, this the preview
    Clips

    He ain't really for the culture
    Fucked his baby mama in a choker (Choker)
    Picked her up like a chauffeur (Skrrt)
    On that Twitter wall like a poster (Ugh)
    On fonem she'll get cracked like cocaine mixed with soda
    When I take her soul, if the bitch die, I'ma still eat her, I'm a vulture
    Why Mariah name in your mouth?
    You forty-seven chasin' clout
    "Obsessed" came out in '08 and you just puttin' some out? (Damn)
    'Cause Marshall think he a ape, but a white boy with a backpack
    I do this shit for my real niggas, not the white boys tryna act black, on God
    Eazy

    [Outro: Suge Knight]
    It-it-it's time to sick that ol' buster ass, motherfucker
    But the shit you gotta realize you run that shit out there, man
    And at the end of the day, you got every person in the industry and every person in the streets
    Shit, where he gon' go? He just the new Vanilla Ice
    'Cause it's a matter of time before he hangin', right?
    Eminem's a bitch for bringin' bullshit up that's not true
    Say some shit and then when shit get a little hot, everybody wanna fall back
    Or they wanna run around with all these police
    You know, that ain't part-you're gonna be a rapper
    Any time you're a rapper, you shouldn't have a whole bunch of police badges around you
    Any time you be a rapper, you're supposed to be able to meet up with motherfuckers and handle your business
    But all we gotta do, is get that motherfucker in the ring with you and you're gonna beat the dogshit out of him
    That motherfuckin' simple
    Nick Cannon is a force in it-itself
    And if you have proper time for conversation, y'all got the same energy for doin' stuff for the people
    He not scared to do stuff for the people
    So if this dude want a real target on his back, that's on him
    But don't talk no shit and go and hide
    And you know what you call a man who ain't gon' stand up and fight? He's a bitch
    We should tell the motherfuckers in Detroit he got twenty-four hours to respond or they need kick his ass out that mothafuckin' city
    Hahahahaha, haha
    You have sixty seconds remaining

  30. American should be held for war crimes. They said I was bad. At least I told the truth when I was killing not lying to my people's faces. War on terror. The real terror are Americans

  31. I mean if a war is lasting for 18 years there’s no way anyone could think their country is winning on a grand scale, with bare minimum critical thinking skills.

  32. America didn't became the richest country for nothing,they are not Canada,sweden or whatever,they are wolves just like russia,China and europe,they will do anything to stay in controll and if that means they have to start wars they will do that especially wheir they have lot of interests like in the middle east

  33. Remember that time that Tulsi gabbard said we need to get out of these regime-change wars. Then Tim Ryan did his part as an establishment flunky and said, "oh no, we need to be over there." Yeah, she was right.

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